Femininity Still

Art By Christina Kitchinson

1. Thank you God for femininity.....Fresh Flowers, Fruit Stand Berries, sundresses with sparkly flip-flops and Wide brimmed Hats.

2. Thank you God for femininity.....Child-birth, nursing, lulling, protecting, nurturing, singing soft songs in the quiet of the dawn.



3. Thank you God for femininity.....Thigh high stockings, weekend get-a-ways, steamy nights, sensual glances, naughty games, and exploration.



4. Thank you God for femininity.....The Sisters who guide me, The Mother who supports me, The girlfriends who lift me up, and the strangers who linger in the back ground that I still manage to touch.



Come closer...



5. Thank you God for femininity.....For pink t-shirts, flower tattoo's, and pixie-fairies. For the gift of womanhood,



I am forever grateful.



(Seems no matter how I slice it, I'm still always glad that I'm not a man...).



Lots of crazy love,



~Elle

Gratitude is YOURS

When I first started counting my blessings, it looked somewhat like this:

Thank you God for:

1. A banana Split shared 3 ways on a hot summer afternoon.

2. For fresh water to quench my thirst.

3. For fresh idea's to quench my mind.

4. For "signs".

5. For the Tao.

I give thanks.

The only thing that has changed since I first began to count my blessings, is that it sometimes feels impossible to narrow it down to just 5.

I could literally be here all day.

God, thank you for gratitude. Living a life of THANKS and APPRECIATION has renewed my tired spirit, and is slowly waking up my sleepy soul.

I could not ask for more.

The gift of a heart full of gratitude is there for everyone...it is a gift to you, also. All you have to do, is graciously accept it.

All my love,

Elle

On Courage

1. Thank you God for the courage to disappoint another, to be true to myself.

2. Thank you for the courage to sit in the center of JOY, theirs or my own, without remembering the limitations of being human.

3. Thank you God for the courage to look like a fool for LOVE.

God knows, I'd do anything for love.

4. Thank you God for the courage to follow my driving force and live life to it's fullest, settling for nothing less.

5. Thank you God for the courage to listen to an inner voice that will not leave me alone.

I know she means well...

xo

~Elle

Gratitude For Graditude

For tall skinny mocha's, and pennies on the ground.

For little boys who sleep, and cease to make a sound.





For the cat curled up at the foot of my bed,


And for the silly insanity that flows through my head.





For finger paints, sidewalk chalk, and home made clay,


There are blessings in store for us every day.





It never fails, they're all over the place,


Every where you turn, in every Sisters face.





The the flowers that bloom, and for berries so sweet,


For all the beautiful souls I am bound to meet.





For mid-day naps, and and Creme Bru Le Cheesecake,


For my health, my clarity, and and for old time's sake.





For the garden of dreams in which I have planted my heart.


For peace in knowing I'm doing my part.





For the past that made me who I am today,


And for my dogs who always want to play.





For the 3 year old that never stops talking,


(Just yesterday, I was wishing he were walking...).





For the 10 year old child who lives down the hall,


And every day asks to go to the mall....





For a strong hand to pull me in, when I get out of line,


And for the man who lets me go, when he knows that it's my time.





For choice, joy, freedom, and fortitude,


But mostof all, thank you God, for Gratitude.





By: Elle Febbo


Photography by Elle Febbo

The Sales Girl

Origional Painting by James, The Artist, Age 5

In my first year of college, I got a sales licence here in the state of California to sell automobiles. I was hired (yes, someone actually hired me), at a Nissan Dealership. I sold Nissan's...and yeah, used cars.

Well, I was supposed to be selling cars. I never actually did sell a car, but I was CLOSE once...

It was an OLD couple, in their 70's, maybe, and they found a car there on our lot they could afford. It was Red....with RED interior.

He tried HARD to LOVE it! He kept saying things like "Red! It looks so nice!", and "Its so clean!", and "I love the color Red!", but that old lady just wasn't happy. She kept saying, "but, it's SO red...there is just so much RED!"

They were squeezing together money for the down payment I had FINALLY talked my Sales Manager into taking, and when their daughter said she'd loan them the money at 10% interest, and they were going to buy the car. The old man felt sad about the car now because his daughter was charging interest to her own father, and the old woman was sad just cause it "looked like a lobster".

I slipped them a friends number...she'd been trying to sell the Maxima her parents bought her when she was 16 years old, and I knew they'd love it; I knew it was in their price range, and that they would have to borrow money from anyone.

So I slipped them her phone number and lost the sale.

And my job.

I lasted 3 whole weeks...

Now, I'm trying to SELL advertising on my website. Yes, I want to DONATE 1/2 the proceeds to Relay for Life and fulfill a commitment that I made to a Sister; to help her raise $5,000 for cancer research, and support Relay for Life and those who ARE Relay for Life, in finding a CURE for cancer.

As a Survivor myself, I am passionate about this cause, and and am hoping to raise A LOT more than $5,000. for this AMAZING organization, and the Beautiful Souls behind it.

The other half of my advertising dollars were to fund a trip I've wanted to take and travel with a writing group to teach reading and writing to underprivileged women. (I've wanted to do this trip for 3 years).

So today, I went into a thrift store with my grandma, as we LOVE to do together, and I asked the woman behind the counter what charity was behind the CAUSE for their store.

"We feed people; that's our only purpose".

"What?" I asked...seemed to simple.

"That's all; we just want to feed hungry people; there is no profit. We also accept canned donations in exchange for goods. We just want to feed people".

She looked at me kindly, and went on boxing up food, and gathering goods for local families.

"How do you decide WHO you feed?" I started to feel like a little kid, asking too many questions, but she was kind.

"There is no criteria to meet; other than being hungry".

I didn't know what to say. I whispered, "Cripe", then felt bad.

I was just stunned; I kept thinking there had to be more. So, I asked another question.

"How many people do you feed?" I felt like I was almost challenging her...

"About 3,000 local families. Most of them have signed in here (she pointed to some folders that had obviously been alphabetized). Some are just passing through, or homeless".

She continued on with what she was doing....

***

I wanted to run into the parking lot, and start sharing the news, but I didn't.

NOW, I want to share these people. I'm EXCITED, and INSPIRED!

The Pen is mightier than the sword, so I figured, "Great, I'll put these people up on my BLOG, and share the news! Oh, wait...those are paid advertising spaces. It wouldn't be fair to any other person or organization if I advertised for free.

I was so bothered...I have a medium, but I cannot use it.

I started to think about how I could give when I myself am on a limited budget and can donate food, but that's about it.

I asked the woman for the information to a website or contact name, so I could share the news...they're angels!

"I'll share it with my friends, I promise", I told her.

"Bless you", she said, softly.

I couldn't possibly IMAGINE selling ad space to these kind individuals...I want to share the good news, but...to take money, is to take DIRECTLY from the mouths of my community members. Ick...

That would be like selling an overpriced Lobster on Wheels to an elderly couple. I cant do it.

So, I thought about this all afternoon. I thought about Rocky; she is an ANGEL who runs www.mothersfightingforothers.org and she is AMAZING. I've also wondered, HOW can I get this AMAZING cause MORE AWARENESS!?!? How can I give back to a WOMAN who gives so much to those who, seemingly, have been forgotten?

I let it all go. I sat in the front yard after I got home from my time with my grandma, and let my mind go, and went into my conscious self. My NOW.

Where am I supposed to be, right NOW?

Right where I am.

WHERE is my place in that which is happening around me, to me, through me?

It is in Love.

I don't have time to make THOUSANDS OF LOVE JARS! Was my thought, LOUDLY in my head...

Love Jars? Thousands of them. A gift of love, with the blessings of awareness.

Thank you, God.

1. Thank you God for being all around me.

2. Thank you God for my place. I trust that wherever I am, is exactly where I am supposed to be.

3. Thank you for the 100WATT bulb you turned on in my head, and in my heart while I was trying for peace and quiet. I guess it's true; we don't always know what's best.

4. Thank you for trusting me to serve my purpose and follow my bliss. I wont let you down.

Bliss is fun!

5. Thank you God for Sisters who understand when I answer the phone and say, "Hello, I'm writing, can I call you back, thanks, I love you, bye" and hang up on them all in one breath.

(I cant lose my train of thought, or I get....undesirable to be around).

And Honestly, thank you for providing me the light and the reminder of the most precious gift I've ever received.

My Love Jar.

The Answers are all there....

So too is awareness, kindness, free ads for Charitable Organizations, inspiration and LOVE.

God...A daily reminder of LOVE...

How PERFECT.

My gift to my Sisters...and I keep my promise to the lady in the thrift store, honor MothersFightingForOthers, and raising awareness that LOVE is the Answer.

Love is the answer, no matter the question...you'll see.

Love,

Elle

Now, please, open your present. Literally.

http://barefootsisterhood.blogspot.com/

Bloody Blessings

I had my first Bloody Mary today...

Yeah, I went with my SWEET Friend/Sister, Shirley to Ventura to hang out, and had lunch on the harbor...the sun was out, the boats were swaying in their docks, and with Oysters on the half shell, Civiche, and Shrimp in front of me, nothing could ruin my mojo.

Other than that Bloody Mary.

I was excited, too! I felt...grown up. In fact, I joked that I felt like I was 80 years old, and when it came, I took my first ever taste.

My GOD.

I looked at my Sister, and she was sprinkling PEPPER into her cocktail...odd, but she's the experienced one, so I followed her lead. It cant taste much worse than it does now, and perhaps Pepper is the secret?

I took the shaker after she set it down, and shook it over my cold tomato soup...I mean,"Bloody Mary". (Same thing).

I shook the shaker for about as long as she did, I thought, then set it down, and stirred the drink. I kept stirring it, but the pepper never dissolved, so I finally stopped stirring, and took a sip.

Holy HELL.

I'd have bet money that it wasn't possible, and I'd have lost.

It actually GOT WORSE.

I was so glad to be sitting next to someone who loves me unconditionally..I was so glad to be comfortable with my Sister, trying something insane for the first time. She kept asking how I liked it...I kept saying that I felt 80 years old.

The bar tender told me to watch how many crackers I ate because they were likely to get "stuck in my dentures". Yeah, even he knew that the Blood Mary Soup Drink was not for me. So, in the comfort of my company (Shirley), I turned to the couple next to us at the bar.

"Hello", I said to the nice couple to my left.

"Hi, how are you"? They asked.

" I have a question", I began, "When you think of a Bloody Mary, do you think of an 80 year old woman at Bingo"?

""No!" they both exclaimed, then the man added, "I love Bloody Mary's".

I noticed he was drinking Amstel Light...so I asked, "Wanna trade"?

"Sure!" He was so happy...it was so odd.

We traded...it was a win/win.

God, that beer was so good.

Blessings...

1. For girlfriends I feel completely comfortable with..the ones I feel like I've known forever, the ones I KNOW were sent directly from you, God, I say THANK YOU.

My prayers were answered.

2. For the Angel Store. I loved the Angel Store..all angels, all the time, man..ANGELS EVERYWHERE! It was SO peaceful inside this store...we walked through in a fog; a peaceful, lazy, comfortable, fog.

Turned out they'd been on the news; they had a whole PRAYER WALL..you write your message to God on a post -it (perfect, huh? He's a busy guy...keep it brief), and stick your prayer up on the wall.

I wrote, "God, please bless my Sisters. Love, Elle". It was the first prayer to come to mind. I stuck it up on the wall, while Shirley wrote a prayer...

We stood there, reading prayer after prayer. There were thousands of them. I felt my eyes burn, I fought tears back. Occassionally, one of us would read one aloud, and break the silence;

"I know my Mom is happier with you, God. And I know she's still with me. Thank you".

"Please Lord, watch over my children and I through my divorce".

"Please tell my grandma that I miss her".

In broken English, "Thank You God for making me to take care of my own and be strong".

In a child's writing, "Please God take care of my brother. Please make him well."

I am so blessed.
Thank you, God.

3. For ice cream in waffle cones, that melt and drip all over two grown women, who laugh about it while walking down Main Street, I give eternal thanks.

4. For friendly strangers who trade drinks with me at a bar.

Shirley asked the Server for more crackers...I was sure we were to crumble them up and sprinkle them into our Bloody Cold Soup Drinks. Turns out, those crackers were for the Civiche, and luckily NOT to add to my beverage.

I'm so grateful for kind strangers who aren't shy to trade.

4. For the anticipation of hitting balls...I'm so excited to hit balls!

(At the golf course this week..what did you think I was talking about?)

5. Thank you God for days like this. LOVE, laughter, food, friendship, support, and child-like behavior.

Mama said there'd be days like this.

Thank God, she was right.

Change your life TODAY..right NOW. Count your blessings. That's all you have to do.

You can't change the way your story started, but you have complete control of the story line from here on out, and the ending is up to you.

With LOVE,
Elle

I'm on a roll...

How absurd...she swallowed a bird?

I keep thinking of that nursery rhyme...one thing lead to another, starting with a SPIDER (that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her...), and eventually, she ended up swallowing a HORSE.

She died, of course.

Why did she keep going???
*

I argue...I argue with MYSELF. Even when I KNOW BETTER, I argue with my myself because my head says the opposite of my heart. For as far back as I can remember, those two body parts have never gotten along.

My head is often wrong...because LOVE always wins. I should know better by now. Why didn't I stop at the SPIDER? We all make mistakes...everyone occasionally swallows a Spider.

*

Yep, I'm tired...
Blessings.

1. Thank you God for nursery rhymes. I finally get that one. (Gross way to put a really valuable lesson). Its up to you to make choices that serve your purpose, and to invest your energy where it will manifest and become brilliant. If you are doing something today that you no longer wish to continue doing, then make the choice to STOP. Remove yourselves from that which drains your power and robs you of your light.

2. Thanks, too, for light...I sat in the Den today with a book a picked up this morning at a garage sale, and turned the light on next to the sofa. I opened the book, randomly, to a page in the center, and began to read.

The Author asked the reader to think about a lamp...what does a lamp do? It shines light! Does it CHOOSE who it sheds its light on, and who it does not? Is it picky about who's path is lit? Does it reserve light for those deemed worthy, or which live up to it's expectations and predetermined standards?
Of course not..its a LAMP. It just IS.

YOU are LOVE...you just are. Do NOT choose who you shed your light and love upon...you are LIGHT...created to illuminate your life so that your light might cast a glow on someone elses path.

Just shine..all are worthy.

3. For the completion of a book I put together for my grandma, I AM SO GRATEFUL! I hope she loves it. She complains that I "never" let her read what I write (I guess the printed articles I cut out and stick into envelopes don't count).

I think what she really wants is to know where I am INSIDE...I think she's bored with articles, and I don't think she cares much about the book. She wants to know ME.

So, I wrote her the book of Elle and Nana. Its the ONLY copy, and I pray she loves it. I figure I'd better let her in before she's gone forever.

4. For whole wheat blueberry pancakes for dinner, I give big THANKS...God, that was SO good.

5. For the morning with my Mom. Someone rattled my cup...they didn't TIP MY CUP, oh no, but there was a small spill. I wont lie.

She filled my cup....

And so did the T-Shirt that came in the mail today from my Sister in Chicago..

It says:

"SHOW ME THE LOVE" on the front...

How frickin appropriate.

I love her.

Count your blessings, avoid the spiders, and LAUGH..laughing is good.

Love,
Elle